Caregivers may look to suicide
Nothing devastates a family like the loss of a loved one through suicide. It is such a uncomprehensible tragedy that leaves everyone speechless, without ever giving any answers.
The rate of homicide-suicide in senior adult couples is 50 percent higher than younger adults. Those who suffer from Alzheimer’s, the so-called Caregiver-Dependent Homicide-Suicides make up a large percentage of senior deaths. When a couple who has been married for a long period of time becomes totally dependent upon one another and one or both become irreversibly ill, homicide-suicide may appear to be the only answer. Periods of deep depression may trigger feelings of utter hopelessness, especially on the part of the husband who feels helpless in realizing he can no longer fulfill what deems to be his husbandly duties. This usually has the husband initiating the act. Do not interpret this as a suicide pact; this is an act of desperation and hopelessness.
One caregiver resource report showed nearly 60 percent of caregivers experience clinical signs of depression and 40 percent of former caregivers have mild to severe depression which can last up to three years after the patient has died.
Family members and friends need to watch for signs that could lead to thoughts of attempting suicide.
Four years ago my brother took his own life. There were signs scattered all around me, none of which ever came to mind until it was too late. There is a window of opportunity for intervention in almost all these suicidal situations. Close friends and family members just have to be alert enough to notice them.
My brother who was a nurse once told me, “I can handle any part of the physical illness of the patient, but I simply cannot deal with the mental illness.” I am not suggesting my father’s Alzheimer’s was the cause of my brother’s suicide; our insufferable family problem now is that we will never know. I can honestly say that I was so angry at my brother, it has stopped me from properly grieving.
Beware of any sudden changes in a caregivers’ behavior.
If they start giving away their prize possessions, crying for no reason, experiencing insomnia, becoming isolated from social interaction, putting their final affairs in order or voicing feeling of helplessness, these are just a few of the forewarning signs.
Many people do not realize the extraordinary circumstances connected with a suicide.
For example, it became difficult for my family to make plans for a funeral.
The medical examiner wouldn’t release my brother’s body for cremation until all forensic tests came back without any complications.
This took almost a month during which my mother was devastated. There was no closure for our family and I suspect there might never be any.
It took almost two months before I received a death certificate.
Families need to pay close attention to their loved ones, especially senior members as the incidence of Alzheimer’s and, often, accompanying suicides is rising to astonishing levels.
We all hope that a cure for Alzheimer’s will be discovered; but until that time, we’re just going to have to watch each other’s backs.
Suicide can become a silent turning point that changes a family forever.
Gary Joseph Le Blanc was the primary caregiver of his father for more than eight years after he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. He can be e-mailed at [email protected]
