Funny relationship quotes will make you smile
Because love is funny strange, but it’s also funny ha-ha.
There’s a funny thing about love, and it’s called everything. Thankfully, some of our favorite comedians can relate, and we found the love quotes to prove it. Not only are these funny love quotes, they’re 100 percent spot on.
1. “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are.”
2. “I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough.
3. “I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”
4. “If you text I love you to a person and the person writes back an emoji — no matter what that emoji is, they don’t love you back.”
5. “Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.”
6. “I’m now making a Jewish porno film. 10 percent sex, 90 percent guilt.”
7. “My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me.”
8. “Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.”
9. “If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?”
10. “Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner.”
11. “My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.”
12. “Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.”
13. “Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.”
14. “I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”
15. “Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.”
16. “If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something.”
17. “Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers.”
18. “There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.”
19. “My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me nake and now she’s afraid of the light.”
20. “I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself.”‘
21. “My brother is gay and my parents don’t care, as long as he marries a doctor.”
22. “My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.”
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